Kids

Fave pic of 2018. Tonight I can’t even describe the love I have felt for and from my kids in the past while. 
Lately I’ve decided to start showing emotions to my kids. Real ones. I don’t want to be that mom that doesn’t have feelings or hides them anymore. How are my kids supposed to know how to have and express emotions, or communicate effectively if they aren’t shown? I am a mom but I am a human mom. I get sad, I feel deliriously annoyingly happy sometimes, I get my feelings hurt, sometimes I don’t know what to do or I question myself as a mom, I get overwhelmed, I force things a lot instead of allowing authentic connection with them because I want to do the right thing, sometimes I’m very annoyed and irritable, and a lot of times I have faked that I was okay. And sometimes I've got crap to do and forget to look into their eyeballs. Because life. And a lot of times I have been really happy, and lots of times I have pretended that I was because I thought that’s what a good mom does.
But I have found as I have shared who I am with them, I have felt a deeper closeness to them. They have opened up to me in a way I have only dreamed of. I have been able to see them for who they are as individuals, not just as my kids.
I am so proud of them for their thoughtful questions, their ability to forgive quickly and fully, the cool moments where we communicate and talk through things and make decisions together as a family. I have softened into compromising based on our conversations and their needs and desires instead of just trying to make rules.
They are seriously the raddest kids. Everything I do, I have them in mind. They teach me the coolest stuff. They are my life.